The Politics of Agriculture

A question that has to come to mind in light of recent observations in the community in which I have been working is what is considered a fair price for food? In my opinion, if produce has been grown organically, it should cost more, no matter what the size of the vegetable. I always thought in terms of size and amount but now that I am on the other side of the coin, that is, observing how farmers cultivate and working for a pro-rural environmental organization, my perspective has greatly changed. Food is a precious thing and it does not simply appear out of nowhere, it takes a lot of hard work to produce and it is this hard work that usually goes unrecognized by the rest of the world.

Is pricing a complicated issue? Should it be a tug of war between consumer, buyer and farmer? How do politics fit in? As I see it, so much is involved in the cost of our vegetables, especially if they are organic. In my opinion, those who have money to spend need to adjust their perception and start to re-think the terms “cheap” and “expensive.” I consider my food my medicine…and just for one minute, let’s stop and think about how much you might pay to make yourself feel better if you struggled with a bad cold come winter time. What if you knew that your diet and the food you ate could help to avoid those nasty colds? Take out all those pesticides and you are left with a real vegetable that will not contaminate your body. If food has a power to heal, then it should be anything but cheap.

Beyond having healing properties, growing and producing food is quite the costly and laborious task. Within the cost of produce has to be considered a transport fare to get the food to and from the farm where it was grown.  The person who is doing the organizing and shipping of the vegetables needs to be paid, so labour should be included in the cost. But the biggest portion I believe should go towards paying the farmers. Growing vegetables organically involves much more labour than growing conventionally; the management of the soil, the preparation of organic compost, and companion planting to name just a few. Farmers perform most of the labour and are doing the growing and oftentimes the selling! Beyond this there is just simply something called a “fair price”, to me that would mean market price or higher, especially if produce is organic.

As my internship continues, or what I see as a journey of constant and never ending learning, I am developing a greater sense of the situation facing rural Nicaraguans on a daily basis. I visited a project I worked on last year in a community called Santiago, to have a chat with a community leader Marta Hernandez. Marta’s was one of the first plots we worked with and she fell into her leadership role quite naturally! I remember feeling so uncertain about the project, would the living fencing make roots or would it rot? Would the garden plots be plagued with insects? Would the families give up?  Or worse would the families start to use pesticides? After talking to the intern who currently manages projects, some of my fears came true, but some of the families, six to be exact including Marta’s, had patience and it certainly paid off.  Many families are perfectly successful producing beautiful organic vegetables (albeit smaller in size than pesticide, genetically modified produce) and they have even expanded their plots to grow more and are now selling their crop to a local restaurant and the Eco-Hotel and Spanish School where I worked.

The community I work with currently, Pueblo Viejo do not grow organic and still struggle to even enter the market with their produce, the market is flooded from so many producers that farmers become desperate and sell at an ultra-low price, usually being ripped off in the process. Farmers do not end up gaining anything from the transaction, safe money for gas they used to get their truck to and from the city.

I would suggest that the families organize and sell between themselves, however there isn’t a custom of eating vegetables in many rural Nicaragua communities such as Santiago or Pueblo Viejo . Beyond this are cultural patterns that have been warped and changed over time based on colonial interference, for example the creation of a culture of mistrust.  In conversing with Gloria, I said “but I don’t understand, it hasn’t always been this way in Nicaragua, has it?” “No,” she replied “It is something that was introduced by foreign powers when creating colonies, the indigenous were split apart into separate communities and forced to rival against one another.” 

Organizing one’s community involves investing a great deal of trust in your neighbours. This sense of trust and openness does not tend to exist in many rural communities in Nicaragua. I was baffled. In the small town and big city where I have lived, I have found the sense of openness so refreshing as people appear to be so friendly, neighbours talking to neighbours, making eye contact as opposed to flippantly walking past each other on the street (as in a big city like Toronto), and taking care of each other’s children, rather than depend on a day care facility. But perhaps these behavioural patterns are just the remnants of what was left after colonial powers stripped Nicaragua of many things, including systematic norms set in place by the indigenous. It appears as though small communities don’t even trust their own local leader as he or she is considered to be corrupt.

Individual men and women could theoretically come together and sell their produce collectively, this way they would make a fairer profit selling to one buyer who is in need of a large quantity of one particular produce, i.e. rice or beans. (gallo pinto is the country’s national dish: red kidney beans and white rice cooked in olive oil and onions…quite delicious !) The lack of trust between community members however halts any collaboration of any kind.

Some suggestions and solutions have come up in conversation with Gloria to the aforementioned problems. Nutrition trainings, government food policies that restrict the market and only allow farmers to sell in their region based on the amount and type of produce they have to sell, and education. When I refer to education, I refer to the kind that promotes fundamentals like collectivity, trust, peace, honesty and a just society for everyone. But as I am quickly learning, just like so many things, trust and collectivity are not cultivated overnight.

I am learning that although there appears to be deep ingrained behaviour in a particular society, it does not mean this behaviour is desired or benefiting the country’s development. Changing behaviour is not necessarily a bad thing; it simply depends on who is doing the changing, how and what is their motive for wanting to change it. 

Encountering and Forging Networks, The Enjoyable Challenges of Being Vegan and other Precious Things in Life!

It has been a while since my last blog post, much has been going on! My role at work is now more defined; I am researching and designing a five year integrated watershed management program! Lots of work for an intern but it is an invaluable lesson that will serve me for the rest of my career.  One of the most challenging aspects of my job has been trying to envision and grasp the notion of a watershed. About two weeks ago I headed out to the watershed territory we will be working, El Zapote. The day was spent drawing maps in the sand and stopping in the middle of dirt country roads to observe and analyze the watershed’s ridgelines, basins and sub basins. Once developing a grasp on the definition of a watershed and its function, the next step is to understand the activities implemented in the territory. Depending on its inhabitant’s knowledge, beliefs and actions, a watershed can be managed very well or very poorly. A watershed program can focus on such activities as reforestation, environmental conservation and preservation, sustainable and organic agriculture, hygiene and sanitation workshops, and the construction of ecological latrines. At the end of the day, water is the main resource and the main focus. Water as I knew before and value ever more now, is precious. 

 In my daily life, I am sinking into certain comfortable routines and learning to be creative in many aspects of my living situation. As some of you know, I am a vegan as of the beginning of this year. Coming from Toronto, the city in North America with the most vegan options, both restaurants and stores, I was quite concerned as to how I would manage this lifestyle here in Nicaragua. In the first month or so, I faced challenges. I didn’t appear to have the numerous options of soy products and nut milk, or even the wide variety of protein substitutes.  I was also faced with criticisms from some Nicaraguan friends and family, I had not seen in nine months. These criticisms were on one side, hurtful and shocking, but also predictable and understandable. I had changed, and change, as they say is never easy to accept. Criticisms sometimes came in the form of questions: “Are you well, Clare? You look awfully thin,” (a curvier body is definitely of higher value here) or in the form of direct statements “It is not good for you to eat this way, no dairy, no eggs, no meat!” I have received this kind of criticism before, even in Canada.   Not only am I used to them, but I understand where comments such as these come from; fear. The vegan lifestyle is a new concept for many who do not understand it or its benefits.  Many people, for reasons of culture and upbringing, do not know a life without consuming animal products.  I however, find I am happier and am more creative in cooking and preparing my food and I enjoy my meals more than ever before!

Although Whole Foods is not a mere subway ride away, I do have Matagalpa’s largest market around the corner from my apartment. Here I can find three different varieties of beans, rice, delicious root vegetables to make soups and steamed sides, 2-3 different varieties of plantains, and a wide variety of tropical fruits, among many things. With some of this produce I have been able to cook up some delicious but simple recipes. The other day, I whipped up a deliciously warm red kidney bean soup with onions, garlic, herbs, salt and pepper. As a side, I steamed a handful of local root vegetables, namely chaya and pipian (could compare their tastes to artichoke and their texture to squash.) I topped it with some rice that I sautéed in the leftover herbs and garlic and as dessert I prepared a watermelon and cucumber smoothie. The smoothie didn’t require any sugar or yogurt; it was sweet and refreshing without. Next time, however, I will add a dash of mint to perfect it. It would also make a mean cocktail…just toss in a shot of vodka and voilà!

A lovely Thursday afternoon lunch with the first expats I have met in Matagalpa, Lynn and Richard proved to be very fruitful! They told me about a smaller organic market where prices are fairer (some may say higher, I say fairer) and has a few more produce items I might not be able to find in the main market such as organic honey. They also directed me to an NGO that helps children with disabilities but which is also a general store that recycles plastic bottles (there is not yet much of a recycling collection system instituted in Nicaragua, so this was very exciting news to me!) They also told me about a little panaderia (bakery) where a lovely lady with the help of her young daughter bake a mean loaf of whole wheat bread that Lynn claims she  cannot get enough of! Beyond giving me shopping and food advice, the couple are going to introduce me to their network of locals and expats they have met along the way.

I love discoveries like these. We tend to take the purest and seemingly smallest things in our lives for granted…recycling, whole wheat bread, easily accessible organic produce and it is these things that I come to appreciate so fully when abroad.  

Beyond the challenges I have faced with my diet, the isolation has been difficult as well; mainly the inability to go outside at night in a neighbourhood that has a reputation for being slightly on the rougher side. I have gotten to know a few co-workers, but there has not been the opportunity to go out and see the town from a local’s perspective.  I decided to be proactive and seek out whatever network I could find, which is how I met Lynn and Richard.

 I had joined an expat bilingual listserve called Casa Ben Linder just before coming to Nicaragua. This network of around 600 expats living, volunteering, interning and working in Nicaragua is fantastic! Practically for whatever piece of information you are seeking you will receive a handful of helpful replies. For instance, I have been on the hunt for mushrooms in Nicaragua…I have only encountered the canned ones which I don’t find most appetizing! I had about six replies all sending me to different  niche organic stores, restaurants and supermarkets that might have what I was looking for. One of the expats who messaged me directed me to an eco-lodge, cloud forest and coffee farm on the edge of town that I had fallen in love with a few weeks back. It turns out they grow their own oyster mushrooms out of plastic bags that hang off of the wall!! All the more reason to go back!

Casa Ben Linder is also the name of a community center in Managua named after Benjamin Linder, a mechanical engineer only in his twenties, who was inspired by the Sandinista Revolution of 1979, and moved to Nicaragua during the height of the Contra War. In 1986, Linder moved to La Cuá, a village in a Nicaragua war zone. There he helped build a team to construct a hydroelectric plant to bring electricity to the town. He was also quite well known as an animated character that had many talents including unicycling and juggling. Sadly, in April of 1987, Linder and two other Nicaraguans were assassinated in a Contra ambush while working on a new dam site in a nearby village. Linder was the only US citizen to be killed in the Contra War.  Among many memorials all over the country, Linder’s legacy lives on in the Nicaraguan and expat community through the community center and its list serve.

Although I had a general understanding of gender roles in Nicaragua from living here last year, I had the opportunity to discuss with my co-workers and the community I am working in, some of the traditional roles here in Matagalpa. In the countryside, girls normally stay home and help their mothers to maintain the household (cooking, cleaning, carrying water and firewood) and boys will go out and work on in the field with their fathers. If the family owns a small piece of land, women also have to make time to manage a small plot of vegetables or beans while their husbands migrate as far as Costa Rica and Guatemala to work on a farm.

When Anides started working in Pueblo Viejo, almost as many men as women would come to the workshops aimed at improving women’s ability to manage their own resources, i.e. financial and agricultural. Men wouldn’t participate, but sit on the edge of the group, listening and observing. Now half the men come and women are the main participants. As Anides works to slowly improve women’s self-esteem and ability to manage their own financial situation, the organization has noticed an increased level of confidence and assurance in women and their abilities. Slowly, women are discovering that they want to expand their role from working in the home.  Some men, however, are threatened by this confidence and domestic violence ensues. The male leaders in the community continue to show up at trainings and speak up more than women. Women tend to be intimated by the men’s outspoken behaviour and in turn, are not as verbal. I asked my co-workers why not provide the same isolated training to men as to women, and was left with the answer: because it is simply not in the culture to do so.  Laws are now being created that favour women and leave men with nothing. For example, in the case of divorce, women are given more benefits and men are left without any assets. Although many women might say that advances have been made, it appears as though they are moving in one sole direction. We must ask ourselves then, what is feminism’s ultimate goal? 

Nicaragua: The Sequel

Even when you think you know a place and its context, there is always more to learn. This is what I love about this experience and also what I find difficult. I love it because it means that culture is rich in layers, meaning and experiences. It also means however, that right when you think you know it all and find a comfortable living pattern, you become uprooted and all of a sudden find yourself in unfamiliar territory. That unfamiliar territory currently consists of working with a new organization, living in urban Nicaragua (as opposed to rural), and being immersed in a foreign language five days a week, eight hours a day.

I have learned a myriad of things since beginning my first week with ANIDES, I don’t know if I could recount all of them. What I have learned so far is mostly about ANIDES and how it functions. Underfunded but well-represented, it is a team of only 20 people that works hard to facilitate each of its 32 community’s needs. It is like many organizations that do such good development work, but simply go unrecognized financially in the grand scheme of development. Although, it has developed a handful of useful partners that support it in its mission to provide rural communities with access to loans in kind, volunteer projects (building a school in a community where one barely existed) and capacity building trainings.

I must mention one of the most momentous occasions to occur, a reunion in the making: arriving to see my boyfriend who I have been away from for nine months. The last time we saw each other was July of 2011 in a town called San Juan de la Concepcion. There were of course lots of tears of joy, shock, many kisses and many hugs.

As we drove away from the airport, window down and air flowing, I felt at home immediately. I am more than familiar with the language and am greatly familiar with the culture. Many of the initial smells were familiar as well, the burning wood from street food roasting on a small grill or the diesel gasoline pouring out of trucks and cars driving through the market behind my apartment.

Watersheds, watersheds and more watersheds! I have heard the word microcuenca (watershed) and had the concept explained to me many times this week, I feel as though I should be an expert on the subject. One of the organizations main foci is to work in communities that are located in a watershed. Watersheds, if you did not already know, are ‘’basin-like landforms defined by highpoints and ridgelines that descend into lower elevations and stream valleys.’’ They drain into what is called a sub basin, basically a smaller watershed that makes up a piece of the larger watershed. This website has been very helpful in teaching me about watersheds in a fun and visual way. ANIDES has chosen to work in watershed communities because it is here where the water sources are and where these water sources can be harnessed and protected. The most important thing to know about watersheds is that what is practiced on this land will undeniably affect communities downstream.

Apart from learning about environmental issues, I have been slowly getting to know my co-workers and the lives they live. I am so curious about every day routine here in the city and of my co-workers. What pressures do they face? Is this job a job they enjoy or is it simply to pay the bills? Most of my co-workers are in their early to mid-30s, have children and some face challenges taking care of family and dealing with the stress that that brings. One of our accountants travels almost an hour to get to work and wakes up at 4 in the morning to make sure the kids are fed and she can get herself ready and to work on time.

In terms of living in Matagalpa so far, I like the city. It has more of a nightlife than I was used to in San Juan or did not get used to I should say, and I am excited to be living in a city and to have my own space. As I settle in, however, I have begun to miss San Juan! I miss seeing familiar faces and getting to know a community so quickly. I miss being welcomed with arms wide opened and saying hello to all who pass me on the street. Living in a city, even though I know this country, will be a challenge. I am looking forward to making some new friends in the next few months!

Lessons Learned

A lesson in...

patience...listen more.

coordination...think ahead; communicate.

creativity...are there really no original ideas out there?

resourcefulness...look at what you've got instead of what you need.

humility...it's not always about me.

graciousness...anger never solves the problem, be soft instead.

inner-strength... don't give up the fight but know that courage sometimes means giving in.

perspective... We may be privileged, but man, North America can be a pretty damn scary place.

confidence...speak up for yourself and don't let anyone rain on your parade.

learning to love the green stuff...because it's what makes the world go 'round.

human rights...We've all got them and should be fighting for them all the time. Be aware.

independence... Sometimes its best to go out and do it on your own...

prejudice... We've all got it in us. Every chance you get call yourself AND others on it.

peace of mind...Find it.

drama...it's everywhere and the worse your karma the more it follows you. Don't destroy relationships.

hypocrisy...I have little control over it, only to not take it on myself.

listening...again, it's not always about me and what I have to say.

compassion... Take another's feelings into account. Understand.

writing...how to be concise!

pain...even though it feels like you're going through it alone, you're not.

work ethic...All the best things I've done in my left have meant I've had to work hard.

unstructured environments...once you can tackle them, you can tackle just about anything.

simplicity...we all need more of it; a way of living and a state of mind.

sustainability...I now know what this looks like in its purest of forms.

growth...It means positive change and I feel myself going through it every day.

What I see, what I hear, and what makes me smile.

As my camera was stolen recently :(, I thought I would write out some of the experiences and images I have witnessed over the past few days to give you a hint of the kinds of things I learn on a daily basis…

How to Help a Chicken Lay Its Eggs

First I slowly and gently shoved one egg after the other underneath the chicken’s breast. Once all four eggs were under, I did a little tickle or what I like to call the finger dance under their belly. I took my hand out and observed as the chicken rocked and wiggled from side to side, (doing a chicken dance, as Manuel calls it) adjusting themselves on top of the eggs!

Monkeys Love the Nectar

Take one of the white flowers by the sink and approach the monkey cage. Put the flower in your pocket and watch as the monkey takes the flower out of the pocket with its hand and sucks the nectar from the center of the flower.

The Parrot’s Water Dance

I watched as Oscar, one of the muchachos who works the grounds, doused the parrots and other tropical birds with the hose in the late afternoon heat. They fluttered their feathers, doing a little dance. It’s truly lovely to watch and I can’t help but giggle and smile.

The Slow Growth of the Mighty Guanacaste

The Guanacaste seed has a hard shell around it which slows down the germination process. With the shell, the seed takes one year to germinate to a small sapling. Santos, our jardinero (gardener), takes the seed and rubs it up against the tree to wear down the shell. This process means the seed only needs eight days to germinate! The Guanacaste tree takes an average of 300 years to grow to its full size.

Fireflies at Night

Now that the rains have begun, the fireflies have begun to appear at night. As I lay in bed at night, I follow their luminous glow as they whir over my head. Their magical presence surrounds me every night.

The Laughter That Fills My Home And My Heart

Yamy's and Josimar's whole hearted laughter fills the home with love and whenever I'm sad or feeling lonely, it cheers me up. I will miss this.

Or Armando’s ( a Mariposa worker) high pitch, never ending giggle that sounds like he's up to something...

The Last Few Months

In the last few months I’ve taken so much in. The days have been full which has meant earlier bed time. I have not, therefore, taken the time to record what I’ve been up to. One of my most memorable experiences from the last few months has been my walk through the Mombacho volcano cloud forest which is a wonderfully magical place. I felt like I took my first breath; the air was pure and clean and I had finally escaped the contaminated air in my little pueblo; air filled with smoke from burning garbage and fumes from the numerous buses and trucks that rampage their way along the main road.

I have been thrust into the occasional role of being tour guide and translator which has been fun, tiring and challenging. Fun because it is a job where you get to move around and see the sights. It is challenging because it involves an incredible amount of energy and great listening skills to translate a language!

My work environment as I’ve discovered, is quite unstructured which has been difficult for me. Every day is quite unpredictable, so I’ve been working on being organized, but it still has its challenges. I had a really constructive discussion with Paulette the other day and we came up with a plan. I’ve made a web map, as I like to call it, with my name in the center and on one side of my name are all the tasks I currently take on as an intern and on the other are all the projects I would like to take on in the next coming months. She is going to sit down with me in the next coming days and we are going to discuss what the challenges are for each task and what aspects are working. I’m hoping this ‘web map’ will really help me to keep organized!

I am comfortable living in a small town in some ways. I love its charm and how I have become a familiar face. I will miss the friendly smiles and the waves I receive walking to or from work. Furthermore, the great thing about a small town is all of the locally owned businesses and having all the basic necessities so close to where I live. When I need medication from the pharmacy I walk around the corner, when I want to buy cookies or a drink I walk a few more meters and a friendly face is there to greet me. It’s a lovely sense of mutual benefit and “tight-knitness” that I would love to see be expanded in the West.

In other ways, a small town can be tough to live in. Lots of gossip, little night life and everybody knows your business!

I’ve mostly been working on building up our community garden project. For more explanation on how the project got started and where we are at now, check out the hotel’s blog: www.mariposaspanishschool.wordpress.com

Each family was chosen based on need through, what I’m guessing was an interview process and through census data. We now have nine families who have a living fence to protect their plot. In total there are twenty-six families to benefit from the project. Each family has been provided with seeds from the municipality of la Concepcion and a few starter seeds from La Mariposa. They will be growing things like peppers, peas, cucumber, tomatoes and kidney beans, a main staple in Nicaragua. Some of the heirloom seeds (heirloom meaning the seeds have not been crossbred with other types of seeds), have been divided up between the first nine beneficiaries. We will be providing more seeds as is needed.

We cannot afford to provide all twenty-six families with living fencing, seeds and fertilizer right away. We want to see how the project works first and then move on to the next nine families. This system actually works out perfectly for a number of reasons.

The first nine families have been provided with a wooden box to hold their organic fertilizer (cow, goat or chicken dung + worms). Unfortunately these boxes turned out to be very expensive and if I had known before they were made, I would have turned to another more cost-efficient method (that being a hole in the ground filled with the animal dung and worms or a concrete cistern.) Not only are these cost-efficient methods but, unlike the boxes, they collect the urine from the worms which is a very useful fertilizer.

Starting with only nine beneficiaries also makes sense because, as I have come to realize, many of these families have the basics down but lack specific training on composting and sustainable agriculture. They lack knowledge of things like insecticides (and I’ve discovered some non-chemical ones!!) We are sending one of our guys, Franklin, who works with the horses and has lots of knowledge of composting and fertilizer to train the families, workshop style. We’ve already taken four of the most enthusiastic beneficiaries to a workshop at a fertilizer farm but more hands-on work must be done. Once these families have the necessary information and training and have developed their plots, they can then begin to pass on the knowledge to the next nine beneficiaries. This whole process is called “train the trainer.”

I’ve learned so much about composting and organic gardening. It is really not an easy and it requires a lot of patience and dedicating long hours of hard work. It’s been such a huge learning process, (especially learning everything in Spanish…definitely a great way to improve it!) as I’ve been working with one of our go-to guys Ishmael who, in terms of finding resources, has been a wonderful connection to the community.

I’ve really enjoyed being an outsider looking in; I’ve been able to learn how this community works, what resources they have and don’t have and I’ve loved watching them work as a team! I must say that not all have been as enthusiastic as some but those who are have really made the project.

My host sister Paola is about six months pregnant and just found out yesterday she will be having a girl! It’s been a very exciting time watching her grow and playing the guessing game as to the gender of the baby for the last few months.

I just want to write a quick blurb about Paola and her husband and Alex and their beautiful love story. The two met when Alex was cat calling Paola on the streets of La Concha, the capital of La Concepcion....wait for the romance to kick. Paola ignored it but Alex continued to pursue her and started to come to her house on a daily basis to see if she was home. At first, she really had no interest in seeing him. But over time, the two got to know each other and became good friends and lovers. Yamy has told me how Paola took a lot of interest counseling Alex over the years, helping to improve his confidence and in turn improving his self-perception. Many family members were shocked at their age difference of nine years (she is 17 and he, 26) but she persevered, and said "no, we will make this work." Many of Alex's aunts warned him that he had to be very careful with Paola as she was but a child. As I've gotten to know her, she definitely doesn't act like a 17 year old. Although she is youthful at heart, she is definitely a dominant and self-assured young lady.

At this time, Alex's dad was thrilled that Alex was dating Paola because had had known her grandmother and all the women in Paola's family who had reputations for being hard working women with a strong set of core values based on family and religion. He held a great deal of admiration for her family. Alex and Paola had only been dating a few months when Alex's dad sat Alex down and said "I want you to marry Paola. I know her family and I know what kind of girl she is and this is the girl you are to marry." Sadly, in the same year, Alex's dad died suddenly of a heart attack. The two were married in December of last year. I watched the wedding video a couple of months ago and I was blown away at Alex's emotion as he stood at the altar, shedding tear after tear as he lovingly gazed into Paola's eyes. I realize now why he was so emotional. After three years of dating, he had honored his dad's wish and married the girl of his dreams.

Alex and Paola have a great relationship that you don't see often here...or I guess you could say anywhere. Teenage pregnancy occurs quite frequently here and I hear story after story of 13, 14, or 15 year old girls left to raise a baby on their own, luckily with the help of their family, but in the end, the man takes no responsibility. It is so nice, therefore, to see this lovely couple making things work!

I’m starting to feel very at home (I’m officially being called a hija –daughter) and consider myself very lucky to be living with this family. Yamy (pronounced Jami), my host-mom has her opinions that diverge greatly from mine, especially in terms of politics. Despite this, she has been my mother away from home; she takes care of me when I’m sick and always tries to make food that I like.

I’ve definitely gotten used to all of the noise. I usually crash at 8:30pm and wake up around 6:30am…my alarm being the combination of roosters and the booming voice of Yamy’s son-in-law, Alex, who is up and at em’ getting ready for work at 6:15. The occasional morning I’ll awake to a bit of a breezy chill or a rooster crowing but then I fall right back to sleep.

Two days ago a giant tree fell on the property next to Paulette’s and the law in Nicaragua requires anyone who cuts down trees to own a permit. Despite this law, many people go about cutting them down in their own back yard all the time, permit free. Most of the staff was upstairs, including me, starting our day, working away on the computer or on some task or another, when apparently the tree fell, making a massive booming sound. I among two of the other staff members did not hear the tree fall. Paulette was enraged. She screamed something along the lines of, “what is the bloody point of protecting the environment when none of you even notice when a tree falls to the ground?!” She was right. Here I am working away on all kinds of environmental projects, I’ve stopped eating red meat and I’ve been considering coming home and working for an environmental NGO, but yet I don’t even notice the environmental degradation that goes on around me.

I think this goes for a lot of us. We get so caught up in the small stuff, including the oh-so uselessness of consumption (and usually consumption of things we don’t really need), that we forget what really matters. Please read The Story of Stuff by Annie Leonard or go to her website www.storyorstuff.com to understand why I think this is so important.

I’ve come to notice for instance that family is a beautiful structure and pretty damn useful. I look at the family I’ve been living with now for a little over three months. When a woman in the family can’t take care of her daughter because she is working all night at the hospital in Managua, her mother, brother or cousin is there immediately to give the little one dinner and watch over her until mom comes home. A) Because most families here live under one roof together so getting to the child is no difficult task. B) Because this just makes sense. Family members should be taking care of each other.

As a side comment; the reason many families live under one roof is for economic reasons, it is the only economically feasible option in a poorer community. In Canada we may not need to do this because we are blessed with jobs that pay us so we can seek out our own independent lives. But the idea of a strong family unit is still something to consider.

It’s just kind of an expectation that this is what families are for. Back home I rarely see my extended family. We see each other at Christmas and Thanksgiving and the occasional Easter celebration. Obviously no family is perfect and I’m not saying that all families in Nicaragua function like this; there is definitely lots of dysfunction just as there is in any other country. But the overall sense of unity among extended family is much stronger compared to our expressive need for individualism in the West.

What has come to matter to me most is family, community, the environment (not just because it’s pretty and green but because it is so interconnected with EVERYTHING. If we destroy our environment, we are destroying our and everyone else’s community, livelihood and prosperity), good friends and good company. Having pretty clothes or jewellery, going to Starbucks, doing something that will bring more pollution into the air and land are just a few things that just don’t seem to matter to me anymore. Not to say that before I gained this awareness that I my intention was to try and pollute the environment.

I must admit however, that I am nervous to come back to North America. I am proud to be from that part of the world due to certain freedoms I have been granted, to the wonderful people and because it is a beautiful part of the world to live in. It is, however, a pretty damn scary place to live considering some of the damage we are doing to not only ourselves but to the rest of the world. And it is very easy for most of us to go on with our lives not really realizing what impact we have or what kinds of information is being fed to us…and THAT is the scariest part.

It’s easy for me to say all these things now, but what happens when I come home? Will I be sucked back in to having unnecessarily long hot showers in July, of all months? Will I use a car or take the subway when I could walk or bike? Will I take on the causes that I want to take on or will I become apathetic and consumed by my job that might make me money but does not bring me happiness? How can Westerners break free from the plague of individualism? This has also become a point of interest for me as well; global awareness and collective consciousness.

Finally, I will never stop loving the Spanish language and its song-like rhythm.

Love, Life and Happiness.

The constant whir, buzz, honks, and chirps are starting to grow on me. The din is starting to sound like music to my ears. Even the TV which is always on in the background adds a lovely rhythm to the never-ending sonnet.

To quote one of my angels, Cristina Taborda, who said this with so much passion, “I love my life!”

I feel the same way, Shteen. I love my life and I feel so blessed to be on an adventure such as this one. All the seemingly awful things that may come my way will all be looked back on with a good laugh and a nostalgic sigh. One can only move forward. This is the mentality I started out with the minute I stepped into the car to drive to Buffalo and I’ve maintained it up until now. Every time I’ve had a rough day or felt homesick, I come home, have a little pity party and then I go to sleep, telling myself that tomorrow will be a better day. And it always has been!

One of our former guests, Shannon, a farmer working in the United States, told a few of us a beautiful story the other day about positive and negative energy. She decided she would test out a theory on her plants. She bought two of the exact same plants and placed them in the exact same amount of light, gave them each the exact same amount of water at the exact same time of day and gave them each the exact same kind of air conditions. She gave one plant more love, attention and encouragement in the way she spoke with it. The other, she yelled at and took all of her frustrations out on. The ‘love plant’ grew beautifully and quickly. The ‘hate’ plant suffered, did not grow anywhere near as much as the ‘love plant’ and even grew mold! This story really re-instilled my beliefs in the power of energy and positive thinking, and how it can change one’s life!

The other day Paulette and I had an interesting talk about culture and how it has become defined in Western civilization. After this chat, I’ve taken some time to seriously re-analyse what culture means to me. Basically, I’ve come to the conclusion that culture has often been defined in terms of a country’s behavioural patterns. No one country can be considered to be full of like-minded people who all act and behave the same way. Behind our typical definition of culture are power dynamics and inherent racist beliefs and attitudes. We’ve lost our understanding of what culture used to mean; one’ country’s music, art, dance, literature, language, history etc. That to me, is the heart of nation, it’s what they truly hold in common. Another thing I’ve overheard is that culture can be considered ubiquitous. I think this idea has been constructed in the West as a way for Westerners to hold power over information and over people in the South. As my time rolls on here, I have become more and more uncomfortable with generalisations. It wasn’t until that chat with Paulette, however, when I realized my worldview is shifting.

Yesterday I was a tour guide in training on our trip to Granada, Nicaragua’s wealthiest city. Granada is a beautiful old colonial city that was bustling at every turn. The Granada Poetry festival was going on, so that added to the excitement in the main square of the city. We even had two celebrity sightings; Gioconda Belli, one of Nicaragua’s most prolific female writers who participated in the revolution (she was signing books only a few feet away from us!) We also saw one of Nicaragua’s most famous singers, Carlos Mejia Godoy, on stage, minutes away from performing.

My favourite part of the day was visiting el Museo San Francisco which holds some of the most beautiful pre-Colombian statues. I don’t know what it was about these statues, but something about them rang close to home. Perhaps it was the way they represented the union between animal and human. Or perhaps it was the absence of any representation of war in the statues, thus the 2000 years of peace the Mayans experienced, that inspired me. I think it was also the way they were arranged; two long rows of 15-20 statues facing each other, so stoically, as if protecting their Queen or Goddess. The front of the statue was a man or woman, and behind, arching the person’s back was an animal, each different animal representing a different characteristic, i.e. strength, wisdom etc. I loved the idea of the relationship represented between human and animal; that of peace, acceptance and understanding. This experience will definitely stick with me.

I’ve been really struggling with how people, in general, treat their ‘pet’ dogs here. Many families treat them as guards, their sole purpose is to protect and attack. This is so warped to me. Animals are living creatures that have spirits like humans and to watch them be tied up day in and out on a small rope to a tree, is damaging whatever spirit they may have left. The dogs at my home are treated with a little more respect, but not much. My family keeps them outside at all times. One of them is definitely starving, as you can see his ribcage and every other bone poking out of his skin. They never touch them, and the only time they speak to them is to shoo them out of the house. Today as I was leaving the house, the Dalmatian, Escrapy, came limping over to me, clearly having injured his paw or leg, obviously looking for me to help him. I’ve never felt so helpless. The family has done nothing to help the dog, even though he is whimpering in pain. Thank heavens; the head of our Spanish school also happens to be vet. I’m headed to his house later on this afternoon to see what he can do for this poor suffering dog. As it so happened, as I walked out of my house, feeling so guilty for not being able to help this dog, I almost fell on my face as I looked down and saw what I’m almost 100% sure was a dead dog on the corner of the sidewalk!! I was almost sick to my stomach. I’m so thankful to be working for someone who rescues animals for a living!!